Your Other Dad says you might not really know what she’s signalling

Dear Other Dad —

Photo: Sharon McCutcheon for Pexels

This past winter, I heard from multiple parents that their children were adding images of themselves to a rising tide of social media posts that feature LBGTQ hashtags, acronyms…

Read everything from David Valdes — and more.

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Your Other Dad says consider his impact on you — and vice versa

Photo: Anna Shvets for Pexels

Dear Other Dad —

Your question is one that is sure to resonate with many Americans who, more than ever, are finding themselves at odds with friends and loved ones over issues that involve race.

It’s often hard to talk about racism because people use the term to mean many things. One definition is dividing humans into categories of merit by…


Your Other Dad says she needs to learn about the physical toll of microaggressions.

Photo: Ike Louie for Pexels.

Dear Other Dad,


Your Other Dad says if it’s important, don’t wing it — strategize.

Photo: Zen Chung for Pexels.

Dear Other Dad —

It’s really frustrating when you don’t feel heard. There are some parents who simply will not be able to hear because they find it difficult to listen to others, period. There are others who try to listen but have trouble because, instead of…


Your Other Dad says one kind of privilege doesn’t guarantee another

Photo: Cottonbro for Pexels.

“Dear Other Dad —

Hi Teddy —

I hear your frustration and anxiety clearly — and I can relate to it from my own youth. I was raised on welfare; when my mom, brother, and…


Your Other Dad says depression and mental illness are never go-it-alone conditions.

Photo by Lucxama Sylvain for Pexels

A year into the pandemic, it’s no surprise that questions about mental health are on many teen minds.

Dear Other Dad —

First, I want to say that both of you are doing the right thing by acknowledging that you are struggling; going it alone makes a hard road harder…


In the rubble of Westview, I saw my divorce and found my superpower

All images: Permission of Disney Media & Entertainment Distribution

She’s a nearly all-powerful witch who doesn’t yet understand the true forces she can unleash when she’s furious. He’s a vibranium synthezoid who’s pretty placid for someone who can’t quite remember who (or what) he used to be. You may not think that the union at the heart of WandaVision resembles your marriage, but I bet if you’ve been divorced, you’ll find plenty to recognize in Westview.

(Before you read any further, let me be clear that there will be spoilers. Lots of them.)

WandaVision has been widely discussed as a potent exploration of grief and many have called it…


Your Other Dad says you have options — but only after you consider why you need to know.

Dear Other Dad —

Photo: Rogério Martin for Pexels

Before you go too far down this path, you need to be clear on why you want to know. Since you took the time to write a letter about this, it seems unlikely to me that the matter is simple curiosity. If you want to find out because you have a crush on this girl, that’s a different story (see my…


Your Other Dad says feeling adrift is an opportunity to see differently

Dear Other Dad,


Your Other Dad says the core issue isn’t gender; it’s the tricky nature of crushes.

Dear Other Dad —

Photo: Rodnae for Pexels

I know your situation feels complicated by something modern— your ability to publicly transition — but, at root, it’s really a problem as old as time: all crushes are inherently risky.

Having a crush is a heady experience. At its best, it offers rushes of electricity and optimism; at its worst, it can plague you with self-doubt. When you have a crush on someone, it’s hard to slow down your racing heart and think logically about what…

David Valdes

David Valdes is a Cuban-American playwright and author. He’s written about family, race, and LGBTQ issues for the New York Times, Boston Globe, and HuffPo.

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